The weekend is wrapping up and if you’ve been lucky enough to enjoy some nice weather, you’ve been out . Riding is one of the most relaxing, mind freeing activities a midlifemoto fanatic has. Getting away from it all and letting the wind hit your face while you hug the road. If it only were that simple. Be aware, there are those that seek to do you harm. The super villains, the nemesis of motorcyclists everywhere. Forget Thanos and Hela. These evil villains will seek you out and can ruin your day. You may think of your ride as a superhero, but know that there is a nemesis out there for you.
The Villains
- Cellumungus: The socially addicted phone monger. Every minute of every day they are swiping on their phone. Not because they have a long list of business projects hanging . No, they must be the LIKE ruler. Every post , every pic, and every day must be logged. Even while driving. Cutting through traffic with phone in hand, scrolling to find their best friend’s most recent comment on why wine smoothies are better than mimosas. This IS their life. You are no match for their focus on all things cellular.
- The SSM. The SUBURBAN SOCCER MOM. This might be the scariest of the 3. If might be a calm, peaceful day and middle of the afternoon, but don’t tell her that. She has a white knuckle grip on her van’s steering wheel and has a stop light response time of .3 seconds. She has 5 stops to make in the next 15 minutes and you ARE in her way. Nothing else matters. She approaches the streets like she’s on her way to the last gallon of gas and needs to beat Mad Max to get there. Stay out of her way. This is passive aggressive domination. You don’t have a chance.
- Th Lane Goblin. Are they on the phone? Are the eating? Nope,they just know that the street is their playground and that means all of it. One lane or three, makes no difference. Changing lanes is something other people do. The Lane Goblin just drives (in and out of lanes as they choose). Sometimes they are able to take up two lanes at once. The Lane Goblin will chew up the road and everyone in it.
These are just 3 of the villains you may encounter while navigating the city streets. There may be those that posses traits off all three!
Stay safe, be aware, and live to fight another day.
Keep riding.